Dana’s out, so Dash MacIntyre of The Halfway Cafe and Ellie Leonard of The Panicked Writer pulled up chairs for Fucked-Up Friday. Three pitches, one chat vote. Dash brings the Putin-linked oligarch who bankrolled Don Jr.’s wedding. Ellie brings FCC chair Brendan Carr’s nine years in Midtown, the D.C. AA offshoot former members call a cult. I bring the memo that makes killing an endangered species legal, as long as you didn’t mean it.
Before the pitches, we get into the White House press ban and why the whole press corps walked out. Then it gets gloriously unhinged: champagne on ice for the day it ends, a bundle of sage big enough to smudge all of D.C., and a Putin who greets a fleeing Trump with a ticket to Siberia. The chat picked a winner. As usual, nobody really won because we all live in this shitty timeline.
07:41—Ellie on the first briefing after the ban: nobody could hear Trump, because guess who brings the microphones.
31:28—Dash debuts a Halfway Post headline about Eric Trump, a Russian oligarch, and a hamster funeral. Sparky needed that gold-lined shoebox.
41:49—Trump finally flees to Moscow, and Putin meets him with “Donald who?” and a one-way trip to the gulag.
42:12—Ellie walks through Midtown, whose late leader was dubbed “the Epstein of AA,” where Carr spent nine years starting at seventeen.
51:36—The memo’s own example is a dead whale, and Captain Ahab has his best day since 1851.
Thanks for listening!
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