I’M FEELING UNLUCKY, MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA (The Daily Whatever Press)—Five words. That’s all I typed into Google’s AI Mode this afternoon: who won the 2020 election.
It is the easiest question in modern American history. It has been asked and answered by 50 states, more than 60 courts, a joint session of Congress, and Bill Barr. Joe Biden got more than 81 million votes and 306 electoral votes. Donald Trump got 232 electoral votes and a grudge he has been nursing like a sick baby bird for six. Fucking. Years.
And the biggest search engine on the planet answered me like a hostage reading a statement off a cue card.
Bueller? Bueller? Biden?
In fairness (and this is all the fairness it gets), AI Mode did cough up a name: “Joe Biden won the 2020 United States presidential election, defeating the incumbent president, Donald Trump.” Then it slammed the door. No vote totals. No state results. No links. Just a note that if I wanted the counts, I should “consult the records provided by the Federal Election Commission (FEC) and the National Archives, or check with official state election portals.”
The company whose entire reason for existing is handing you links handed me homework. What the actual fuck, Google?
So I asked the obvious follow-up: “where are the links?” Its answer, in full: “Please consult official portals like the Federal Election Commission (FEC) or the National Archives for official election results and archival documents.”
Hahahaha. Are you fucking kidding me?
I shook the most famous search engine in human history like a Magic 8-Ball, and it floated up “Reply hazy, try again.”